At the UVA baseball game I attended the other day, I overheard an undergrad talking about sorority life. “My little’s friend went to school with Luke Bryan’s wife’s diamond which is like so cool,” she announced loudly, as if everyone in the world needed to know that information. In an effort not to gag on the hot dog I was shoveling in my mouth, I decided not to call her out for being pathetic. Instead, I reminisced on my days as a sorority girl, and thanked God that I was the one to make the mistake of joining so my daughter would never have to.
Promises of life long friendships and sisterhood lure many girls into these literally worthless and empty organizations known as sororities. My daughter will not be so easily tempted. Granted, I had a particularly negative experience, which I will not delve into in a public forum, because I have a life and a future. However, to those girls that did have positive or even mediocre experiences and still tout their sorority like it’s a badge of honor- get a life.
Sororities brainwash you into falling in line with a certain creed or moral guide that the organization itself does not follow. They do not encourage individuality. They encourage conformation on all levels- dress, appearance, conversation topics, grades, social lives, style, and anything else that makes you who you are. I’d like to say I was the anti-sorority girl, but I wasn’t. I was a perpetuator of all things stupid. I judged girls like it was nobody’s business. I blackballed girls during recruitment that I didn’t think were “good enough” as if I was the end all be all of opinion. I stirred up drama like it was my job, thinking that who got on exec or where formal was held was an actual issue that I needed to be concerned with.
Now that I am four years removed from college, and sorority life is a stain on my past, I realize how naive I was. And I pity girls that truly believe their sorority mattered then and especially those who believe it matters now. Your sorority doesn’t define you. You define you. Your real family. Your real friends. Your job. The way you treat others. That’s what defines you. That’s what will define my daughter. I will never subject my daughter to the hypocrisy of sorority standards and lifestyle, and she will grow up to be better than any of you would hope for your “legacies” to be.
Don’t take offense to this, all my soror friends. Go on and continue perpetuating the sadistic cycle of shallowness, backstabbing, and deceit because, well, someone’s gotta do it. And, to be honest, I have better things to do with my life.
Oh, and happy founders day, Phi Mu. XOXO HIOB
When I find myself in times of trouble,
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom